You're All I Want
by HoldxOn
Summary: A one shot tagged to 11x2 Past Present and Future. After Ziva leaves, Tony isn't handling it well and Ziva has a hard time remembering the will she made, for him.


**_A/N: Wow, this is different. It's been ages since I've posted on this website! Like back in 2013! A lot has happened since then, I haven't stopped writing entirely, but I've been writing for different fandoms. I wrote this one shot two years ago after 11x2 (Past Present and Future) and when I wrote it I was having serious Tiva withdrawals. Now after the last episode (Family First) I'm just a gross sobbing mess whenever someone mentions Tiva. Ha. If you have a Tumblr you may have seen this one before because I originally posted it there on my blog (inlovewith5singingidiots). I hope you guys like this!_**

 _"Hardest 180 of my life."  
_

The words haunted Ziva as she stared at the wall across from the couch in her small home. Tony's flight was probably halfway across the Atlantic now. She had just hung up with Gibbs and her phone sat next to her on the couch as tears fell down her cheeks silently. The quiet in the small house was haunting enough.

"Oh Tony," she whispered to herself as if he were in the room with her. "I just," she paused. If someone had seen her talking to someone who wasn't there they would think she was crazy. Hell she probably was! She didn't care though, she just wanted her family.

"For him." Ziva reminded herself the promise she had made in her will. The promise she had made to Gibbs. She had to end it, for him. "I can't go back. I can't. I just can't."

Tony laughed to himself as he took another sip of the beer in his hand. He looked over at the goldfish that swam happily in its tank, unaware of the turmoil its owner was going through. "You're lucky to be a fish Kate. You get to swim in your bowl without a care. Never having to say goodbye."

Tony shook his head and took another swig. His anger and frustration at the situation took over his tired body and mind. Three days was _too_ long. She should be with him. _Not_ in Tel Aviv. He slammed the bottle to the ground and got up frustration radiating off his body. He swiped his hand across every surface, except Kate's table. The fish was safe, for now.

Picture frames clattered to the floor and the glass in them shattered. A lamp fell off the table, the bulb in it shattering into a million pieces descending Tony into the dark. He paused at a picture that sat in a frame, all alone.

 _"I found my favorite picture, and it's the only picture with someone in it."_

Tony picked up the picture and stared at it. His finger ran over the glass softly and he sighed. "I just wish you came back." He sat on the ground holding the picture and stared at it amidst the mess of his things. He'd clean it, maybe, but for now, he wanted to hurt. He wanted to just cry.

Ziva glanced up from the apple in her hands to the plane flying overhead. It was a C-130, probably leaving after either dropping someone or something off or picking someone or something up. Lately that's all she seemed to be consumed with when she was outside. Was the planes flying by, especially military planes.

 _"You jeopardized your entire career and for_ what _?" "For you."_

She sighed and looked down again, "those memories are nothing but the past now. Just the past." It didn't stop her from remembering Tony's broken look as he stared at her during their argument that day. It didn't stop her from remembering the ache she had every night since that plane took off leaving her behind.

"Oh Tony," she whispered again. She glanced back up at the empty sky and sighed, "for him. I have to end this. I can't go back."

She looked around her at her home that sat alone, the tree that was providing her shade. She wasn't happy here though. She was anything but happy, and Ziva knew exactly what would make her happy again.

"He hasn't been sleeping. That's the problem." Gibbs whispered to Vance watching Tony who stared at the empty desk in front of him. He understood Tony's need to keep the desk vacant, to make Bishop sit at a desk adjoining the bullpen. He knew Tony's heart was hurting. All of the teams was.

"I know Gibbs. We have to figure this out for him." Vance agreed. They stood on the catwalk looking into the bullpen at Tony and McGee. McGee was doing reports and Tony was switching between Ziva's empty desk to the window on places to look.

"It's because she left." Gibbs sighed, "we all haven't been the same."

 _"And who are you?" "Ziva David, Mossad."_

Six months. It was too much. Too long. Ziva walked into the building hoping somehow she'd be allowed upstairs. Someway. It had to happen.

 _"Couldn't live without you, I'd guess."_

The same way it had worked for her to enter the yard in the first place, it had to work again. She had to go there.

"Agent David." The security guard stared at her surprised as she walked to the metal detectors.

A small smile played at her lips. "I am no longer an agent."

"O-Of course. What are you doing here?" He looked at her obviously in shock she was there.

"Can I be allowed up there? Please?"

"I-I gu-guess. I can allow it." He waved her through the detector after she set her items into the bin, "wait, how did you get on the yard?"

Ziva smiled and laughed softly, "same way you're letting me through." She grabbed her personal items. "If you get in trouble, tell them to talk to me." She didn't have that authority, but she wanted to at least help him stay out of trouble with his supervisor. She quickly walked to the elevator. That was it that held them apart. Just the elevator.

 _"Because you had my back. You have always had my back."_

The ding couldn't come soon enough. As soon as the doors open she got off the elevator and almost ran through the squad room to the bullpen. She paused at the opening and stared at the three shocked agents. She glanced up at the catwalk and saw a surprised Vance, and a smiling Gibbs. She smiled at her friend then looked back to the shocked agents.

"Ziva, h-how?"

"Tony," she couldn't say anymore before she ran to his arms and kissed him.

Tony pulled away in shock, "but your will."

Ziva smiled, "it may be too easy to be pulled back to this," she motioned to the squad room, "but it was too hard to be pulled away from you."

"You're back? For good?" McGee finally spoke.

"Not here, probably bagging groceries for the rest of my life, but I'm here." She smiled at her friend then looked up at Tony, "if you are still okay with that."

"Okay? Zee," Tony just smiled and shook his head wrapping his arms around her small body, "you're back."

"You're all I want Tony. Everything." Ziva smiled hugging him.

 _"Have you found your soul-mate yet, miss?"…. "You'll know, when you do."_


End file.
